We all experience painful emotions at times in our lives. Sometimes they are so intense that we think we will never get over them. Emotions such as worry, anxiety, fear, pain, anger, disappointment, despair, guilt, inadequacy, overload, loneliness.

Emotions that most people try to avoid. But at what cost..

In order not to feel inadequacy, we may never try to achieve something great. Thus we condemn ourselves to never feel the satisfaction, the joy of creation and achievement.

In order not to experience rejection and the pain that may be associated with it, we may not feel the love and affection with the person we would like.

So by avoiding experiencing painful emotions, we avoid experiencing their opposite, wonderful emotions.

If these painful emotions arise, some people tolerate them or, worse, deny that they feel them. Some may even use them to show how bad or difficult they are going through.

However, none of the above behaviors and ways of managing these emotions bring the desired result, which is none other than to feel better or change our emotional state.

The source of our emotions is ourselves. We create emotions within ourselves and what we feel at any given moment of our lives depends on the meaning we give to an experience we are experiencing. And how we reproduce this experience in our mind will determine how we feel.

Each of us has set some rules, some criteria in operation for what we want to happen.

So our emotions are messengers of clear messages.

ANGER

Mild Annoyance
Anger
Resentment
Resentment
Disgust

Anger encompasses the full range of emotions in this category.

We get angry because we believe that either people or a situation do not meet the standards we have set.

And since what is important for us to happen is not equally important for others, we ourselves feel unimportant. We feel that we do not count in the market, that we are not worth enough for others to follow our own rules.

But is that so?

The Message of Anger

An important rule that you have set in your life

has been violated by someone else or even yourself.

Anger Management

Our own important rules are not equally important for others. Each person has their own rules.

There are some steps that, if followed, can significantly reduce angry outbursts from happening in the first place. They can even calm them down if they are not prevented.

Clarify your boundaries and your rules
Have you clearly communicated what is important to you?
Do you need to change the way you communicate?
Are you sure that the other party knows what is important to you?
Set a common framework for behavior. Not everyone has your own rules
No matter how much you believe in your rules, it does not necessarily mean that they are the right ones.
Talk to the other party and set a common ground where there will be commonly accepted rules as well as respect for those who are different.
Change your own behavior if the anger is towards yourself
Anger towards ourselves clearly shows us that we need to change either the way we communicate, the way we behave, or our plan of action.

Tony Robbins says,

“Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling.”

People often regret things they said or did while angry. Instead, we can start by:

Communicating better
Behaving better
Agreeing to disagree